dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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