The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
