Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
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