You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
what the fuck happened to the tacos
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
