just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
