ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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