i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i will never coherently bang her
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
