he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
