lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
