How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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