me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
