His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
