at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
