haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
