Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
