You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
