Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
