so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
