I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
