That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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