Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I just forgot I was standing up.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Randomize
