ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
