I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
