I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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