mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Randomize
