Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
