we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
