no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
