quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
COCAINE IS GR8
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize