But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
