just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
