so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
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