You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night�
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
