Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Randomize
