One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
