I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
