when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Can I color on your dick again?
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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