your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
