what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Randomize
