I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
