Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
