They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Redeem this text for a blowjob
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
