In the future we'll all be gay
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
