i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
