I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
You were trust falling into bushes
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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