You're so nebulous sometimes
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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