Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
