love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Randomize
