Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
