his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
