i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
