What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
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